More than 10 million lives covered by insurance. Call us today to get the care you deserve. Getting through the trying time that is drug rehabilitation speaks volumes to your dedication and abilities. Dating can be fun and exciting now that your mind is clear and you have a foot in the right direction. Think about where you are in your sobriety and consider venturing out in the dating world, if only just to date casually and infrequently. Now it may be nerve-racking to think that you could in some way screw a new relationship up, or, on the other hand, that the emotions of new love could threaten your sobriety. You have every reason to worry in these ways, though before you leave the idea entirely, think of where you are in your sobriety, and what a relationship could do for you in support of said sobriety. There are many things to consider when it comes to letting yourself out to date and the possible pros and cons are rather endless, but there are some essentials to consider.
A Guide to Romantic Relationships in Recovery
Like most facets of an addiction, relationships play a cause-and-effect role, and understanding these dynamics is instrumental to controlling the addiction and saving the relationship. The question of how substance abuse can impact families is not a new one. In , the Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration reviewed pre-existing literature and found that addiction has different effects on different relationship structures. Extended family members might be put through stressful experiences of shame and humiliation if their connection to the addict and his or her behavior becomes known.
When dealing with a partner, the consequences of a substance abuse problem generally fall into psychological and resultant behavior and economic categories.
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Ultimately, an unhealthy relationship in which one or both partners have a substance use disorder can take the focus off the individual and his or her alcoholism, drug addiction, or other mental health problems. While everyone is different, it is generally recommended to have achieved some solid sober time before beginning to date. Twelve-step groups like AA say to wait one full year before starting a new relationship.
For some people, love is an essential aspect to achieving long-term sobriety. To that end, here are some tips for dating in recovery:. At Cornerstone, we offer a full range of drug recovery programs. Our talented staff of addiction treatment professionals will find the individualized plan that works best for you. All communications with our staff are confidential.
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8 Tips for Dating Someone in Recovery
Take It Slow. Jumping headfirst into a new relationship is never a great idea, but it’s especially important to take it slow when you’re dating.
Depending on your background and how much you understand about the disease of addiction, reactions will vary. How can the person you know now be the same person who abused drugs or alcohol? For others, it may be a little easier to accept, especially in cases where one has dealt either first or second hand with a substance use disorder. Recovery is a long process. While everyone has their own unique timeline, it is most risky to get involved with a person in their first year of recovery.
The first year should be dedicated to a lot of self-work and self-care, as well as learning how to create healthy routines.
Dating and Sober: How Courtship Changes (And Improves) in Recovery
Romantic meals, going out on the town, and making a toast at dinner can all still be done without alcohol or drugs. For the close to 25 million Americans in recovery of some sort almost 10 percent of the country , wine, weed, pills, or powders are not on the menu. The first step is to accept real facts and to surrender to them:. Chemical addiction is a brain-based disease.
Why You Should Wait One Year to Start Dating in Recovery. Many experts in addiction treatment strongly encourage their clients to wait at least.
Before you start thinking about the other person in your relationship, spend some time looking at yourself and your motivation for choosing to date someone in recovery. They need to be responsible for taking appropriate actions on a daily basis to preserve their recovery. If you have just met someone you are interested in, you are going to be listening carefully to everything they share about themselves.
Recovery is an ongoing process, and someone who is being honest will tell you that up front. A good sign is someone who is actively participating in a recovery plan and taking steps to look after their health by staying active, eating well and getting enough rest. Visit your local library or look for online resources to learn about this subject.
Dating in Early Recovery
When someone makes the courageous decision to enter an addiction rehabilitation center they are allowing themselves time for self-care, healing, and reflection. Individuals should be taking the time to focus on controlling their minds and urges as well as establishing a routine and structure. While dating in addiction recovery is never recommended, being realistic about meeting and connecting with other individuals is important.
Continue reading to see some of our tips for dating in addiction recovery. One of the main points to remember is that no matter what else is going on, sobriety needs to come first. If you are taking the time to enter an addiction recovery center , you must put your program and your life first.
“It will be easy for many to find replacement addictions, such as a love addiction, to replace the high the drug or alcohol provided. Many people.
So you went to rehab and emerged on the other side. However, when it comes to dating after rehab, waiting is key. Most people in rehab are young adults, and dating is something that young adults do. There is no getting around that. There is also no getting around the fact that by going to rehab you just invested a ton of time and effort into your well-being. No one is worth coming in between that. Unfortunately, new relationships in recovery carry a high risk of leading to relapse , or at the very least taking your focus away from yourself.
After rehab, you and your peers are particularly vulnerable. You have a new sense of freedom and strength, but the truth is you are also extremely impressionable. This is why having a proper aftercare regimen is crucial to maintaining sobriety. Still not convinced? When young adults relapse, they often do so in a group.
Romantic Relationships in Recovery
You should feel proud of your hard work and optimistic about the future. But moving on to that future can be scary, especially when it comes to dating. Fortunately, dating as a recovered addict does not have to be difficult. In fact, many of the strategies you developed during your recovery will actually help you form happy and healthy relationships. The key is to take some steps to prepare yourself to share your experience with another person.
Focus on getting to know each other as people before rushing into a physically intimate relationship. It takes time for the brain and body to adjust to living a sober life. You can be a source of love, encouragement, and support, but the decision to remain in recovery belongs to your partner alone. If your attraction is based on a desire to rescue someone in need, you may be suffering from codependency. This condition is characterized by an excessive emotional, physical, and psychological reliance on another person to boost your own self-esteem.
Codependent relationships are not healthy for either partner. People in recovery often have a number of challenging issues in their past. To be a supportive partner, you need to have a solid understanding of substance abuse and recovery. Visit sites such as DrugAbuse. You can also find a wealth of information resources at your local public library.
Additionally, attending a support group for the friends and family of those in recovery may be beneficial.